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The nachos are resting in a big yellow bowl. Your fanny sinks into your friend’s fluffy couch. Super Bowl Sunday kickoff has finally arrived. You’re pumped, for all of it: the game, the ads, the halftime show, the party.

But come the third quarter, you’re already halfway out the door. Two weeks of endless hoopla and hot takes for this?  

Super Bowl clunkers are, sadly, all too common. These games offer little action, or drama, and deflate a crowded living room. Tearjerker commercials and a catchy halftime concert can only do so much. The Super Bowl is about foot…